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There are 5 types of fear

1. Terror
2. Panic
3. 14 missed calls from mom
4. Username or password is incorrect
5. “We need to talk”

(via theycallmetabs)

Keep your parents smiling. They spent their days, and nights keeping you from crying.
– (via laanat)

(Source: moeyhashy, via theycallmetabs)


*filling out a job application*. What language are you fluent in? Brokanese. How long have you spoken this language? Bitch! Too long! Hire me

(via theycallmetabs)



When I was a kid I thought your 20s were supposed to be fun, not filled with perpetual anxiety about financial stability and constantly feeling like an unaccomplished piece of shit. 

That’s because it was fun for baby boomers and they basically gave us this impression it would always be like that, but then they ruined the economy.


(Source: curseofthefanartlords, via theycallmetabs)

I really hate when I put food in the microwave and it starts popping and making explosive noises so I check it and it’s freezing cold like why you gotta play me like that

(via theycallmetabs)